harmonica hell

I’m on the phone. On hold, actually. It’s the witching hour (after school). I’m sitting in the living room trying desperately to keep the kids out. Alex comes in with a big caravan toy with huge plastic spiders and a fly as passengers. Betty and Jackson are in the playroom watching Horrid Henry. Just as I’m getting her to take the contraption out, Betty wanders in.

I (w)‘ant Boobie!

I get her to go away relatively quietly, still on hold waiting to speak to a customer service representative. I should be cradling her tightly to my bosom as she was nearly lost only twenty minutes previous. I was on hold, same place, when I heard the door open. I thought it might be Graeme coming home from work, but it was a bit early. I got up to see what was happening. Jackson had only opened the front door!

As soon as he saw me he took himself to the naughty step. Thinking Betty was still in the playroom, I quickly closed the door. I went back to give Jackson a good talking to, explaining how dangerous it is to open the front door. What if Betty got out? She could get hurt! We might lose her forever! Jackson looked very very sad and said,”Can you go get her, Mommy?” I realised then that she was ALREADY OUTSIDE! OH MY GOD!

With my heart in my mouth I flew out the front door, shutting the door behind me, to find Betty wandering around with a neighbour. I was mortified and scared to death. I’ve since locked the door. And dialled that damned number all over again. Ten minutes on and I hear Jackson calling for me. I’m extremely annoyed as I’ve been on hold so long and they’re likely to answer now that my children are playing up.

Jackson: Mommy!

Me: Yes, Chicken?

big blow on the harmonica.

Jackson: Moooommmmmmmyyyy

Me: Yes?

big blow on the harmonica.

Jackson: MOMMY!

Me: WHAT????

big blow on the harmonica.

He wanders in to where I’m sitting, all the while repeating:

Mommy harmonica

Mommy blows the harmonica

Mommy harmonica

over and over and over again. Really fast.

I’m still on the phone. Damn, this is taking a long time.

GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I SMACK YOU SO HARD YOUR CHILDREN WILL FEEL IT!

I’m finally alone. And someone finally answers. Thank God.

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~ by imadethis on April 19, 2007.

One Response to “harmonica hell”

  1. Ah, yes, I can relate to the telephone story…:)

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