Merry Christmas!

We’ve just returned from a three day trip to Durham. WITHOUT THE KIDS! : ) Now, to fully appreciate that statement, you must first realize that I have never been away from my three adorable children since they were born. Except, of course, when I was in the hospital having more children. So the idea that we were alone for three whole days was, to put it mildly, INCREDIBLE! We didn’t do anything at all exciting. We just wandered, shopped, slept in and sauna’ed. And it was absolute bliss. I think my favourite part was not waking up UNTIL I FELT LIKE IT! : ) That was amazing.

Then we had to come home. And, while I do love my children, I have to admit there was a slight sense of foreboding. Mostly because I know I won’t get to experience time away with Graeme alone again any time soon. You who know the Ya Ya’s will appreciate that scene in the middle of the night when the children are all covered in diarrhoea and vomit and Vivi, the Mom, suddenly reaches her breaking point. Making sure that the nanny has some money, she takes off for Florida leaving her husband, her children, her life… everything. She spends a lot of time sleeping and thinking, mostly sleeping. Ultimately she realises that her place is, in fact, at home with her children where she returns with a renewed confidence.

While I wouldn’t want to leave under those circumstances, I would like to leave for a bit longer all the same. It felt so good my name as Trish rather than the constant and often repeated, usually in a whiney grating voice, “Mom! Mommy! MUM!!!”

I must remember that our lives have now changed completely. I need to remind myself that Graeme has a new job. And when he goes back to work, he’ll more often than not still be here, working from home. It will now be much more of a team effort and partnership than it ever has been before. (For the last 5 years Graeme has worked 6 days a week.) And we can look forward to both time together and family time in a much more reliable and carefree way. We can look forward to regular trips to the spa, for instance. And we take turns watching the kids so we get more alone time to recharge. (I say ‘we’ when I really mean ‘me’.) And I’ll be taking a couple of new courses in the New Year. I’ll be taking the next level Counselling course as well as a 10 week Information and Guidance course. I have also decided to start volunteering. I’m not sure where, but I firmly believe that this will be a good start to recapturing myself. Not so much rediscovering, as I haven’t ‘lost’ me. I’ve just been left to flounder a bit too long without proper care and attention.

In any case, when the Grandparents gave us this gift on Christmas Day, all I could do was cry in awe of the thought of time for ME. I couldn’t believe I’d have time to do WHAT I WANTED WHEN I WANTED. And let me just say that I was right to do so. That was the most thoughtful gift that I have ever received. And the most appreciated, I’m sure.

She did say more than once,”Just don’t forget to come back.” I think I know why now. It’s very difficult to slip back into the swing of things once you’ve had a taste of ‘me’ time.

Now, for all of you who might read this and think that I’m an uncaring Mom who would rather be anywhere than with her children, you’re wrong. Or at least mostly wrong. I’ve been struggling for a LONG time now trying to do my best for my children. I thought that that meant being there all the time. Now I realise that for me to be a great Mom, I need to have time to recharge, to miss my children, to be away long enough to appreciate them a little more.

That may sound a  little harsh, but that’s the way it is. For me, anyway.

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~ by imadethis on December 29, 2007.

2 Responses to “Merry Christmas!”

  1. Doesn’t sound harsh to me – needing and appreciating “me” time in no way diminishes love for your children.
    It’s not like a scale of justice with a certain amount of love on one side or the other. There’s always enough love for everyone so don’t shortchange yourself! (which seems to be the easiest person to forget when we’re Mom’s eh?)

  2. I think you are honest, and more moms need to be. I think that a lot of moms need the “me” time, but either are in denial, or just won’t admit it to others. It doesn’t make us bad moms if we know that to be BETTER moms we need to make sure to recharge our batteries now and then. I for sure know that my kids benefit from being away from me and I benefit from being away from them. Not that I have EVER had three days away (or even an overnight). I am SOOOO happy for you that you got to do that!!! You are very lucky. Couples need that time to reconnect, and if it makes them a happier couple, then it also benefits the children.

    Hope that makes sense.

    And congratulations!!!!

    Girl, you’re preachin’ to the choir! : ) And, having experienced our first week in the new regime, I must admit it’s AWESOME having Graeme home!

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